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Various iterations of the vibrator, now available in battery-powered or plugged-in models, have been around since the late 19th century. By directly stimulating the nerves, the device helps activate those that are not responding to the usual methods of arousal. Vibrators come in various shapes and sizes — some lifelike. Many models feature adjustable speeds of vibration, a crucial feature for skin that may have become supersensitive over the years. This can leave "Lone Rangering", "visiting the safety deposit box", or "taking your talents to South Beach" as the only option for sexual activity as long as social distancing continues. Nonetheless, over time "giving yourself a hand" in the same way over and over again may get repetitive and monotonous and prompt you to say, "oh, you again." Perhaps, you need something to spice things up for yourself.

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• If you are using a foam or gel cleanser, apply a small amount on your sex toy and rub it all around the toy to cover every part. • Remove the battery or unplug your sex toy if it uses plugs or a motor. A mouth gag is a BDSM item that couples can use to experiment with control and power dynamics during bondage.

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It’s large, yes, but lightweight compared to other body massagers on the market today. Other clitoral stimulators Melissa recommends include the Lelo Sona Sonic and Clitoral Suction Toy to avoid penetration but still experience pleasure. "If penetration has become painful, these are a great way to slowly and gently reintroduce penetration into your sex life at your own pace," Melissa says of this three-piece dilator set. Redefining pleasure in midlife can require a little homework, Melissa says, adding she often tasks her clients with a short quiz to help them explore what they desire now. "I have worked with women who are in their late 50s who are having the best sex of their lives because we worked on their mindset first and foremost – we know the mind affects the body so we start there," Melissa says.

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